Writing is my First Love, Always

Writing is my first love, always
Pen in my hand
A blank canvas in front of me
Ready to be imprinted with my thoughts
My mind so full of randomness and an explosion of feelings
Unable to conceive any insights or gain knowledge from the intensity
Until the ink bleeds into the paper
Words fill the space
A calmness takes over
A sense of fulfillment is achieved
And I am expressed through writing
My first love, always

Emotional Writing

I feel like I only write when I'm emotionally-inspired to and by that I mean when I'm in some form of emotional state or another. That's why I could easily and effortlessly write in elementary school, middle school, high school, early adulthood, and on and off recently because it's only recently that I've experienced some form of emotional calamity. That's also around the same time I questioned my ability as a writer and if it'll be possible for me to pursue writing as a career because my writing was becoming stagnant. The point in my life where my writing should be at its prime, I was starting to dull. I think my writing mirrored what was going on in my life. As I became more emotionally-detached, I became separated from the writer within me. As my emotions started to surface, I was re-introduced to that side of me. I missed it, and I love the passion I get from writing. However, I want to channel it and harness it at will. I don't want to be a servant to my emotions, which is probably an error in my thinking. In order to have that emotional intensity which stirs my writing, I have to let it control me. But I'm worried that if, for whatever reason, my emotional state stales my writing that I'm totally screwed. If I can use writing as a way to express my emotions, I want to be able to manipulate that skill and become one with my emotions, to be able to write, to be able to feel. This means that even when I'm emotionally-detached, it's important to keep writing to flush the emotions out of me by digging inside because it's all there. It's just contained.