Channeling What I Have

I think my friend described me perfectly. "I think incessant thoughts are a sign of higher intelligence but unchanneled it can drive you nuts!" It's so obvious, yet profound. People seem to be endlessly fascinated by how my mind works. It has such a dynamic range and an even more dynamic consequence. My math professor told me that I'm UC material, but I'd be smarter if I thought less. Most professors tell me that the best advice they can give me is to think less. My friend, AJ, told me that I have a drug addict's mentality. Another told me that I'm not happy because my parents are in my head and that I need to get rid of those thoughts because the older I get it, the louder they become. It's true. My friends, who by the way don't have facebook (can you believe it?), told me that I'm meant to be an engineer. My friend seems to think that I'd be good at it but would get bored of it.

I feel like in many ways how my mind works has more range of opportunities than others but with it comes a greater range of insanity, too. I don't want that. I feel like I'm a powerful force, sometimes more intense than others. So I have to put extra effort and care to ground myself, something I rarely take the time to do. I think what I have is a blessing or a curse depending on how it's channeled. It can be abundantly positive or dangerously havoc with equal abandon. I want to work towards the beneficial direction.

I believe that there are two kinds of laid-back people - the ones who work on it (AJ and I'm hoping someday me) and the ones who possess it, but life always has challenges that'll weigh us down. There are also hybrids who naturally possess it but also possess the incessant thoughts that torment so many of us. I believe we all have tot put in the time and effort to keep ourselves grounded. Who else will do it? Life certainly won't. Life throws us the curve balls that give us the incentive to keep ourselves calm.

I've been this way for so long that I'm not even fully aware of how desperate I am for balance, but I'm becoming more aware of it. The universe senses it, too, because I truly believe that the energy we give off attracts certain people into our lives. People respond to what they sense from us. Lately, it seems like I've been attracting as well as gravitating towards naturally calm people who are lost themselves but have life experiences I can't even possibly imagine.

I've always been a dynamic and diverse person, as well as paradoxical. So I attract different types of people, and they lead diverse lives that I could never pursue. But I'm still exposed to it. I'm a giver and taker. I can't do one without the other. It's very much an altruistic process.

People come to me to seek insights whether it's subconscious or otherwise. I truly feel that I help them, which surprises me sometimes. How can I help others when I can't even help myself? I can't seem to help myself because I don't channel myself in ways I do when I help my friends. I have the ability to simplify things, even though I never seem to incorporate it into my own life, and that's what allows me to give my friends clarity. By helping them, I'm discovering ways to help myself. It didn't begin that way. I wasn't searching for it, but that's what I've realized.

They’re right. I have to get the voices out of my head. I want to go to the mountains, to go hiking, to get away, get a different perspective. That's never been my world before, so I'm not exactly sure where to start. Any recommendations? Thanks for reading!