I can't say that I was never an emotional person, but I've always been emotionally-detached, too. I couldn't help the emotions that poured out of me, but I worked on disconnecting myself from it as much as possible. Lately I haven't been able to control my emotions at all. I feel what I feel at the greatest intensity until I overload and neutralize or I become emotionally-drained. It's bad and painful because emotions are powerful. It has an intoxicating and overwhelming effect. But it's also therapeutic and enlightening. I feel like I'm connected to everything around me now in ways I never have before. It's not like I'm not able to function. Sure, I needed five jobs to distract myself from him. That didn't work. So I'm working on facing my emotions as difficult as it is because it's the only way to deal with it. My feelings for him are more ingrained than I feel comfortable or even originally realized. I think that's dangerous, so I need to become aware of them. As a consequence, everything feels intense. But I really am okay. Thanks for your concern. But if it gets bad and I need someone to talk to, it's nice to know that I can count on you (not that I didn't already know).
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