A Progressively Growing Lack of Care

The same friend who's home situation sucks has been repeatedly calling me because he's unhappy. As a friend, I feel terrible for the mistreatment and unfair exposure and expectations. He doesn't deserve what he's going through. But you know what? We're all challenged and exposed to obstacles we don't deserve. Unfairness won't change the rules of the game. There isn't some maximum quota where after you reach an excessive amount of unfairness, you won't ever have to deal with it again. Nor does it mean that because life is so unfair, the universe will repay you for the inconvenience. If you ever expect to see change and improvement, you have to make it happen for yourself. All he does is complain about it. It's not easy to go through change, but it's a necessary process for all of us. He's not a child anymore. He's an adult. He should start acting like one. Or at the very least stop burdening the people around him with problems he continues to expose himself to. He doesn't realize that his actions or lack of affect, well, everything around him. If he were more mature, I wouldn't have to hear him complain about the same thing and feel guilty for being so callous. I just can't understand why people don't realize that after a certain point in life, complaining is no longer acceptable. We're adults now. Be afraid of change, but don't let it stop you. Or, again, let it stop you if you must. But show more consideration towards others. You don't like being inconvenienced, so refrain from doing that to others. I feel like I'm in an impossible situation. I can't change his actions. He won't change his actions. So, therefore, I get an earful. And he thinks he's going to live with my boyfriend and I, on top of that? I hate the lack the changes occurring, and I hate the changes that are occurring, my progressively growing lack of care and concern towards him.

I know I'm a bitch about these things because I was forced to deal with things I didn't deserve to be a part of. I still resent it, but it taught me a valuable lesson. Quite frankly, I would've been satisfying learning it on my own. I had to face changes I shouldn't have had to deal with. And my friend is complaining because an unfair circumstance, which happens to all of us, should be motivating him to make changes he should've made a long time ago and should be making now. Complaining is just a way for him to occupy his time so that he can avoid doing anything productive. If being a friend to him is contributing to a perpetual cycle he should escape, especially one that affects me, then it does neither of us any good for me to be there for him the way he wants me to be. I don't like feeling so uncaring and resentful towards him. I can't imagine he enjoys being scrutinized by me when he takes a break from being denigrated by his mother. Although he does put himself out there.