Not Everyone Thinks Like Me

That isn't my epiphany. I've known for some time now that not everyone thinks like me. As my boyfriend puts it, "I'm calibrated differently." But when I try to relate with others, I have to go based on how I feel and how I think. I interpret things based on my understanding of things. So, sometimes, I react a certain way because I expect people to respond according to my perception of reality, which can be very far off. I didn't celebrate my birthday this year because I lost touch with some of my friends, and I felt uncomfortable by the idea of calling them over my birthday, an event that obligates gifts. Don't get me wrong. I don't mind not receiving gifts, but my friends who can't afford to buy me any would go out of their way and get me something. I don't want to inconvenience them like that. Everyone's been so busy with school that I just didn't want to interfere. The lack of communication led my friends to believe that I moved, something that's been in the works for a while now. Then, my friend practically interrogated me for why I didn't celebrate my birthday and how it should've been a priority. That was sweet, and I agree with him. I felt silly admitting that the only reason why I didn't invite anyone was because I didn't want to sound greedy. "Hey, I haven't put much of an effort to keep in touch with you until now (now that my birthday's coming up). Do you want to celebrate my birthday?" He thought I was nuts and assured me that no one would have thought that. They were concerned because apparently they called but didn't leave a message. I don't check my call logs unless someone's left a message, so I assumed everyone was busy. And they assumed I had already moved. Thinking about it, my perspective is baseless. I made a big deal about Christmas, which is something my Asian friends expressed interest in. They never celebrate it at home, so I bought the tree and everything. I made my friend a turkey pie because he's a huge fan of turkey and not cakes. It substituted as his birthday cake. I made an entire meal for him, too. So to expect my birthday being celebrated isn't that big of a deal. As for the gifts, I can't control my friends actions. If they're willing to make the necessary sacrifices, I have to consider the possibility that I'm worth it. Plus, they're always broke. It's not like they don't know what they're getting into. I'm always living inside of my head that I don't always see how the outside world is operating. And I'll continue to be blinded if I don't open my eyes to it. So, from now on, I want to make an effort and see how the world outside of me functions. If I made a big deal out of my birthday, their presence would've proved to me that my reservations were completely unfounded. And it's important to learn these things. After all, not everyone lives in my head. I'm not even sure I should really live in there as frequently as I do. It's closed me off from celebrating my birthday.